Do you have a song in your heart? Perhaps a love song for your Beloved?
Every human heart experiences some sense of separation, and in the separation brews a yearning that draws us to that for which we yearn. It is the connection that we seek.
Sometimes we sense the absence, and we feel the pain of separation. Or we just feel the pain and we don’t yet realize at the base of the pain we are missing the connection with the Lover.
I recently had a series of events, perfectly orchestrated of course, that threw me into a core childhood wound. The voice of the wound said, “Sit down, shut up. You don’t know anything. You have no value. Nobody cares about what you have to say.”
I don’t know that anyone ever said those exact words to me, but that is the voice of what stuck inside.
Landing back in the midst of that voice was painful, as you might guess. I fell into despair, as if I would reach the end of my life and have to tell God that I couldn’t fulfill that intense inner passion to help people because I truly had nothing of value to give. The thought of having that conversation was as painful as the thought of not being of use in the world.
However, by Allah’s blessings and grace, and these Sufi teachings, I have tools to navigate this terrain. I allowed the pain and the voices to be present, sat in the middle of them and called to Allah. Ya Allah, al-Haqq! O Beloved God, the Truth! Within this pain is Your holy daughter who longs to feel Your love, to be held in Your arms, to be in Your Essence.
Ya Allah, please return me to You. You are greater than any voices, any veils that try to come between me and Your Love. Please wash me in Your water of Mercy. Clean me and make me one with You.
Sidi said many times, “Do not stop with the outside pictures.” Go behind and behind and behind, until you reach the truth. One truth in every human heart is that we long to live in union with the Love that created us. And this yearning will return us to the Love we seek.
Last night was the final session of the Poetry of the Sufi Mystics webinar series. We spoke about the state of connection the mystics wrote from, and the state of yearning. Laila Brady, a fellow lover of God and dogs, shared this poem from Rumi:
One night a man was crying,
His lips grew sweet with the praising,
until a cynic said,
“So! I have heard you
calling out, but have you ever
gotten any response?”
The man had no answer to that.
He quit praying and fell into a confused sleep.
He dreamed he saw Khidr, the guide of souls,
in a thick, green foliage.
“Why did you stop praising?”
“Because I’ve never heard anything back.”
you express is the return message.”
The grief you cry out from
draws you toward union.
Your pure sadness
that wants help
is the secret cup.
Listen to the moan of a dog for its master.
That whining is the connection.
There are love dogs
no one knows the names of.
Give your life
to be one of them.”
by Jalaluddin Rumi
If you find yourself revisiting a place of pain in your heart, remember the Love Dogs. Inside your heart is a yearning to be in union with the Love of your Beloved. Don’t stop with the pain. Let the yearning carry you home.
Have a beautiful, blessed weekend!
With love and gratitude,
Mastura Graugnard on behalf of all your friends and family at UOS
Photo credits: © Grigorita Ko #84016419
This post is dedicated to the sweet spirit of the Love Dog, Daisy, may she rest in peace.