Here is a Sufi saying –
Mind speaks to mind. Heart speaks to heart. Soul speaks to soul.
What is meant by this and why does it matter?
Communication happens on different levels and it can either be love-centered or love-deprived.
Your level of communication – whether you are coming from your mind, heart or your soul – determines the quality of your relationships. Your internal state determines which level you are on, and from that spot, you relate to the person you are in relationship with, who usually responds to you from that same level.
Are you in your mind or your heart?
So if you are in your mind with your thoughts, ideas, facts, beliefs, then you tend to relate to the mind of another. If you are in your heart with feelings and emotions, then you tend to relate to the heart of another. The levels are very different. The words and tone in a mental interaction are very different from those in a heart-based interaction.
Here is a conversation between Bob (who lost his keys) and Mary – his wife:
Bob: If you want to find your keys, why don’t you just look for them? Where did you last leave them? Focus! Remember! This always happens! Why can’t you keep track of anything?
Mary: You’re so judgmental. I don’t know why I even bother to ask you. If I knew where they were, I wouldn’t be asking. You are never any help to me.
These two are in their mind and there’s only accusation and blame, not connection.
Here is a heart-based conversation between Bob and Mary:
Bob: I’m sorry you can’t find your keys. That must be very difficult for you, especially when you’re in a hurry and you need to be somewhere on time.
Mary: Thank you for being so understanding. I am freaking out because I am so afraid of being late.
Bob: I understand how badly you want to be on time for this appointment. Let’s see if I can help you remember where they might be.
As you can see, these two people are speaking with their hearts and they are connecting deeply with each other.
From this place, they have a very good chance of growing the love between them.
Heart-based connections are about love, mercy, grace, patience and compassion. Oftentimes, it’s difficult for us to maintain these Divine Qualities.
To learn more about how to bring these Divine Qualities into your relationship and our upcoming course – Freedom to Love – starting November 8, click here.
Where did I leave the car keys, dear?
Here is a Sufi saying –