Have you ever felt like someone you care about was making mistakes that could cause them harm? These situations can bring up a lot of fear.
And that fear can turn the situation ugly despite your positive intentions. The other person might think you’re judging, controlling or criticizing. They may not be able to hear you, or they think you are belittling them and even hating them, and then they push you away.
Reaching out from fear can harm the relationship and ruin your chances of being able to help at all. So what do you do?
I was speaking about this with a friend this morning, and I got a visual image. The deep heart that truly cares and is full of love was like a big cloud or a pillow of bright light that feels like ecstasy and brings comfort and safety, actually beyond what I can find words for in this moment.
The fear that was coming up when looking outside at what appeared as other than love was like a thick hard shell with jagged edges, protecting the love that exists inside from the outside forces.
While the hard shell and jagged edges protect us from outer threats, they can also hurt people around us, even when we love them.
So how can we be with each other at these times? How do we not hurt each other when we feel fear?
Here are a few thoughts:
First, we can remember and focus on the love that is present. When love is present between people, it can be a buffer that makes our sharp jagged edges not hurt each other so much.
Secondly, find and feel compassion. Compassion is the miracle oil that softens and smooths the rough edges and polishes the diamond within. Compassion is the bridge that takes us from fear and judgment back to love.
Third, remember that God is present in all things–animate and inanimate. Ask God for help to know His hand in everything that moves. Seeing the face of God in the other is what draws the hearts closer.
The dichotomy in this situation is clear. It’s not easy to see love in or through the fear. Our human existence is framed in duality.
If you get stuck with finding compassion for a person or situation you fear, start with compassion for your own fears. If you decide to reach out from an "imperfect" state, ask God to surround your fear and worry in His love and compassion, so that love is transmitted before your fear.
I pray you have found some help in this. Any mistakes are from myself, and I apologize.
Blessings and gratitude for you!
Mastura Graugnard on behalf of your friends and family at USHS